She was trying to hurt me. He did it on purpose. He knows I hate it when he does that. They must think they’re better than me. Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we torture ourselves by assuming the absolute worst of ourselves and others when we could just as easily assume the best? It’s almost as if we enjoy being hurt. I have spent so much of my life assuming that someone has intentionally hurt me. I have used all my mind and energy to assume the worst. It really doesn’t make any sense. We literally drive ourselves nuts and work ourselves up until we cry by imagining and believing the worst case scenario.
After realizing that I do this (more often than I would like to admit) I decided it was about time I get to the bottom of this bad habit instead of letting it continue. I realized that the main reason that I do this is that I fear disappointment. I’m scared that if I assume something positive and then find out that something negative actually took place, then I’ll be hurt worse than if I assumed something negative. It is basically as if I’m choosing to feel bad in order to avoid feeling disappointment. Sure this kind of mentality may help me to avoid disappointment, but it does not help me to feel good, all it does is make me feel negative. If my goal is to live a positive lifestyle, this habit will only ever cause me to fail.
Changing your mindset is by no means an easy task. The way we think is so deeply ingrained in us that thinking any differently feels almost physically impossible. Although it may be hard, I challenge you to assume the best. It might be hard to do this when the situation is more extreme, so start small! For example, next time you go out to dinner and your food is taking longer than expected, instead of getting upset and assuming that the waiter forgot about it, assume that they’re making it fresh and ensuring that it is as delicious as possible for you. Sure, it might not be true. But why waste your precious energy getting annoyed when you could use your energy to feel grateful for the meal you are about to receive. Once you master assuming the best in those types of situations, it will become easier and easier to assume the best when you are dealing with heavier topics.
I am by no means a master of this, but I am making a real effort to think more positively and I have found that it improves my overall wellbeing. I am also finding that most of the time I am actually seeing a situation more accurately when I try to view it from a positive angle. Do you suffer from thinking negative thoughts?
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