If there’s anything I’ve struggled with, it’s with saying no. I hate disappointing people and I hate being unreliable. I think most of us have grown up with the notion that saying “no” is wrong and you should be as agreeable as possible and avoid confrontation at all costs. While it might seem to be nice to always say “yes,” it can end up turning into a very detrimental habit. Sure, it might start small by saying “yes” to going with someone to the store but the habit could go as far as entering into a relationship that you don’t really want to be in and avoiding confrontation to the point that you commit to marrying and starting a family with someone who know isn’t right for you. You shouldn’t do someone a favor at the expense of yourself.
I’ve struggled with valuing myself. It’s easy to say that you love yourself but do you take your own side? If you want to quit your job and everyone tells you “no, stay.” Do you take your side or theirs? Do you follow your heart or someone else’s flawed logic? Although it’s easier said than done, it’s important to say confidently say “no” to others and stop apologizing for following your heart and making your own decisions. Lately I have struggled a lot with this. I have decided that I am going to make a real effort to start valuing myself. Some ways that I am going to do this include:
reminding myself that my life is my own
spending time with people who push me to be myself
understanding that not everyone who loves me knows what is best for me
You only get one chance at life, why live it for anyone but yourself? In the end, you have to sit with your choices and you have to be someone that you’re proud of. Do constantly disappoint yourself in order to please others?
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I feel you here! I have ALWAYS had trouble saying no… I’ve been working on this since high school when the teacher supervisor of student council told me I wasn’t allowed to do any student council work for a week as President because I texted her at midnight once freaking out about something not being done! Even years later, I still have so much guilt (like, what if people hate me or are mad at me) but at the end of the day I have to remember that I am the most important person in my life and I can;t please everyone
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It’s definitely difficult. I’m always so concerned with what people think of me but I’ve realized that that’s not the right way to live. It’s a journey, we’ll get there soon!
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Same here, I’m working on this as well!
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It’s hard but it’s life changing. Good luck on your journey!
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