Hey guys! I just wanted to do a little Saturday check in and see how everyone’s doing? I hope you all have been staying healthy and safe. Even though things have shifted a little closer to normalcy. we’re still living in unprecedented times and it’s totally normal to feel sad and uncertain. There’s no shame in feeling how you feel. We’re definitely living in anxiety inducing times and it is really important to make sure that you are checking in with yourself and staying sane.
Last weekend while I was journaling and thinking about myself and the way that I live, I had a pretty interesting realization about myself. I realized that I think so much (possibly more than most) about what other people think about my life and my decisions. This was shocking to me because I don’t necessarily struggle with caring about everyone’s opinions, but I always try to figure out what their opinion is. For example, say I decide that I want to move to California. Before I even fully figure out the move or if I want to go there, I’ll start thinking about what my parents/sisters/friend/boyfriend/coworkers/neighbor/mailman (not really but you get what I mean) will say when I tell them that I’m moving. Is that normal? To me it seems like it might not be (lol). What I do know for sure, even if it is normal, it is not healthy. Last weekend I had the realization that my life should be lived.
Not scrutinized. Not up for discussion. Just lived.
When I constantly think about what other people think- which is really just an assumption that I fabricated and not even actually what they think- I cheat myself out of excitement. This causes me to feel anxious and numb instead of happy and excited. I’m pretty sure I would much rather feel happy and excited! Now that I think about it, the craziest part about this whole thing is that I don’t even actually know how people feel. It’s not like I know that they think negatively of me and it’s hard to handle. They don’t even have opinions yet. It’s pure madness that it is holding me back from being fully present and excited about this one precious life that I have to live. If I continue on with this mindset and I allow it to get to me to the point that I stop taking action and living for me, I will have regrets. There will without a doubt be a time that I will look back on my life and my choices and feel so sick to my stomach that I allowed other people to live my life for me. In the end this is the only life I have and I am the only one who will ever live it, I need to be authentic and live it for me.
I’m going to practice cultivating a more healthy lifestyle by rejecting those anxious thoughts and not considering other people so much. It’s great to be considerate but there is point when it goes too far. It is important to put yourself first and prioritize your mental health and wellbeing. I also came to the realization that doing something that someone does not agree with does not mean that I am hurting them. Let me say that again for all the people pleasers (i.e. me). Doing something that someone does not agree with does not mean that I am hurting them.
Read it again.
For so long I have felt like it was selfish to take actions that make other people uncomfortable, when in reality I should not be apologizing for being and taking up space. My actions don’t even hurt other people, it just might not be something they would do. And that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to live their life the way that they chose. Including me. And you. We’re still learning but we’ll get there.
Let’s grow together.
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Photo Credit: @bokeh_passion