The other day I had a very interesting talk with my mom about accepting the cards that we are dealt in life. She talked about how accepting your life for what it is and not getting frustrated and trying to change it could be the difference between peace and unhappiness. At first this seems like a very reasonable, even wise, concept. Why get upset with your life when you can just trust that it is the way it’s supposed to be? A year ago I probably would have completely agreed with this concept, praising her for understanding that everyone is unique and we should not feel any remorse regarding where we are in life. While I do agree that aspects of that are true, today I have a much different view.
“The only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend once shared with me a video that beautifully illustrated the idea that the whole world is meant for us. Not for us as a humanity, but for each of us as individuals. I know what you may be thinking. That’s selfish. We should consider each other and not just focus on ourselves. While I would agree with that, how many times do we not do what we would like to do or settle in life simply because we accept the notion that “that’s just the way it is.” Nothing is the way that it is. Everyday there are people who make the decision to change their lives and they get up and do it. Religious people leave their communities, a man quits his toxic job, a woman leaves a marriage that doesn’t serve her. Each and every day people make life altering decisions. What if that religious person never left the community they were born into? They would miss out on experiences they have been craving for. What if the man never quit his toxic job? He would drive himself in a depression, getting more numb as the days go on. What if the woman never left the marriage that stopped serving her? She would miss out on a new love that would change her entire life for the better. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said “the only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.”
“For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you have a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
This world was made for me and you. It is a place where we can decide to do and be whoever we want. So much of life is spent conforming and settling. It doesn’t have to be. There is nothing in this world that isn’t allowed to be yours. See what you like and take it. If you are not happy with how much money you make, find a way to make more. If you want to be the type of person who wears high heels to the grocery store, wear high heels to the grocery store. Do, be, and experience all that you can while you can.
Recently I came to the sobering realization that my life is not what I want it to be. I am barely scratching the surface of accomplishing what I would like to accomplish and being who I would like to be. Instead of actively choosing my life path, I kind of just make do with what comes my way. The way my life is now is not a bad life. In fact, it’s good. But the reality is, my life is not a life that I am proud of. It’s not a life that I fought for. It’s one that I have accepted. My new goal is to play a more active role in my own life. I want to able to say that I chose this life. That may mean being intentional with where I live, being intentional with who I spend my time with, being intentional with what I wear, etc. I don’t need to stay where I am or dress the same way everyone else does. My life is my own. I want to start living.
Let’s grow together.
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