We have all been around people who seem to always be irritated. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or cashier at a grocery store, there are those people who just seem to never be happy no matter what. It’s like they perpetually see the glass as being half empty even if it’s 70% full and there’s a tall pitcher overflowing right next to them. It is really easy to get annoyed with those people, it is even understandable. I mean you could be having a perfectly good day and out of nowhere someone comes along and gives you 100 reasons to be unhappy. It is obnoxious. It is what we do to ourselves.
Yup, you read that right. That annoying person in your life is actually almost always you. You are the one who could be having a perfectly good day and then out of nowhere a negative thought pops into your head and you just go with it instead of shooing it away. Our thoughts not only result in our happiness but also results in our actions. Self-identity plays a major role in the actions we take and the outcome of our lives. When you have a negative thought you entertain it and continue to criticize and insult yourself, you rob yourself of happiness and peace. These days people are not very happy. From the moment we wake up, we start pumping our bodies with negativity. We fill our mind with stress and breathe in anxiety and comparison, all while dwelling on our faults. No wonder we spend such large chunks of our lives feeling bad.
Take a moment and really observe the dialogue that typically goes through your head. Is it positive or negative? Do you praise yourself or criticize yourself? Do you accept who you are or are you always looking to change something? Of course self improvement is important and there are always ways you can improve, but if you are critiquing yourself to the point that you hurt your own feelings, it is time to readjust you inner dialogue.
The way you speak to yourself matters
What if you went to a friend’s house and as soon as they opened the door they said “woah you look ugly today.” I don’t know about you but I would want to to walk right back to my car and go home. You would not tolerate a friend talking badly about you so why do it to yourself? You cannot live an elevated and enjoyable life if you spend your time putting yourself down. Self-Deprecating talk has become trendy and while it may seem quirky and down to earth, it is actually one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Talking bad about yourself does not make you relatable, it makes you insecure. Fill yourself with love and compliments by paying attention to your inner dialogue.
If you want to monitor your self talk, spend a day being mindful of your thoughts towards yourself. Each time you think or say something about yourself take a moment to jot it down and then at the end of the day analyze what you wrote. Do you praise yourself or criticize yourself more. If someone read these notes would they think you are talking about your best friend or your worst enemy? If you find most of your inner dialogue to be negative, do not beat yourself up over it. Accept who you are and how you think and use this experience as an opportunity to make some changes that will help you. For each insult, replace it with a compliment. Even if it is not genuine at first, over time it will start to be if you make an effort to look for the good. Give yourself some love, you deserve it.
Let’s grow together.
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