If you ask anyone what they want for their loved ones, most would say “I just want them to be happy.” Isn’t that what we all want? We want our loved ones to be happy and we want to be happy as well. When it all comes down to it, logically most of us know that happiness does not require money, cars, lavish vacations. It is so much more simple than that. To me, happiness means feeling free and following my heart. How can you be happy if you feel like a prisoner who is stuck in your own life. Today when listening to an Ed Mylett podcast I came across an interesting study. A nurse who was working with dying patients interviewed the patients before they passed and asked them their #1 regret. Most people said that they wished that they allowed themselves to be happier. They did not say that they wish they had better circumstances, they said they wished they had allowed themselves to be happy with their circumstances. This is a very important distinction because it revolves around choice. It points out the fact that happiness is a choice.
I grew up with the false belief that my situation is based on actions or circumstances outside of my control. While I heard some positive messages, most of what I consumed was negative ideas regarding my life. I never felt like I was fully in control and even now that I know better, there is still a part of me that still feels like my life is not fully my own. For me, this realization is so major because it reminds me that I am in control and if there is something that I do not like, I have the power to change it.
Many of us go about our lives feeling unhappy. We feel unsatisfied and instead of doing anything about it we stay in our same routines, developing health issues such as anxiety and depression. It is important to remember that everything in your life is a choice and that you can choose to be happy. Nothing is inherently good or bad, everything just is. You give a situation meaning, labeling it good or bad. Instead of feeling unhappy all your life, give yourself love and the opportunity to do things that make you happy. You are not doomed, you can change your entire life in a split second if you have the guts to. I know that I do not do nearly enough to facilitate my happiness and I guess there is a part of me that feels like I have time to do that. In reality, nothing is guaranteed and my life could end in a split second. The time to choose to be happy is now. Why wait? It’s so crazy, why would I even want to wait? I think myself, and probably many of you, also feel like you have to put yourself on the back burner. Maybe you feel like in order to make others happy, you have to sacrifice your own happiness. I know I definitely feel this. If you feel this way, know that you are not alone and that we are all responsible for our own happiness. You cannot rely on someone else to make you happy and no one can rely on you to make them happy. If they are on happy because you decide to live yourself and chase your dreams, then that is on then. There is no need to sacrifice yourself.
This New Year I am committing to myself that I will chase happiness. I will do things that make me happy and have the nerve to be authentically me. I will let myself be free because I have the knowledge that I am the one who makes me feel like I am not. It’s so funny when you think about the fact that in reality you are the one caging yourself. You can help yourself to do this by making measurable goals such as writing a list of things you can do when you are bored so those things become your default things to do, instead of time and energy zappers. Some examples are:
- Talking to friends you love
- Getting your butt up and going to your favorite place to relax (even if it is outside of the house)
- Cooking a meal you like instead of eating whatever is in the fridge
- Booking a plane ticket to that place you have always wanted to visit
- Quitting your job and pursing your passion
When you take note of steps you can take you are able to hold yourself accountable and be intentional with your time. Set yourself free and allow yourself to one day lay on your deathbed feeling happy and grateful that you allowed yourself to be happy.
Let’s grow together.
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