Breakups are never easy. Post breakup I often find myself laying on the couch, teary eyed, with no appetite for anything other than buffalo chicken wings (weird, right?). We spend so much time and energy worrying about and anticipating breaking up in a romantic relationship, but friendship breakups can be just as, or something more, heartbreaking. We never anticipated breaking up with a friend so when it happens it’s shocking and hard to let go of. How many times have you found yourself stuck in an unfulfilling and toxic friendship simply because you don’t know how to say enough is enough? I believe that friendships are sacred and deserve the same respect, thought, and consideration as breaking up in a romantic relationship. If you’re contemplating breaking up with a friend, here’s what to consider:
Is it time?
Before you end a friendship, ask yourself why? Has it been a long time coming or did one isolated fight make you want to throw in the towel. If this is stemming from one misunderstanding I encourage you to reevaluate the situation and think about whether or not this is necessary. It’s possible that your friend is acting out of the ordinary because of his or her current situation. Be honest with yourself and decide if you are thinking rationally.
In any relationship communication is key. If you’re having issues with your friend but you haven’t told them how you’re feeling, nothing will ever get solved. People aren’t mind readers. Take time to communicate with your friend about your issues and where you would like to see the friendship go verses the direction you think it’s going in. If you find that you’d like to try to make it work, great! If not, cut ties respectfully. This way you’ll know that you communicated and gave it your all. Try to avoid drama and name calling when ending the friendship. Be as open, honest, and understanding as possible without attacking. If you are attacked, don’t engage. Keep your cool and simply say how you feel. Understand that no matter now respectful you are, it is very likely that your friend will be hurt by this. It is okay to comfort them but be beware of staying in a friendship that is no longer serving you. Set boundaries and stick to them.
Cutting ties is never, ever easy. It’s okay to be upset, cry, and go over all the wonderful memories you had together. Like any breakup, time will heal the pain. If this person was truly toxic, no matter how sad you are you should know that you made the right decision for your wellbeing. Stay positive and focus on yourself and all the supportive, high energy people in your life. Like any relationship, there’s always the possibility of reconciliation.
Have you ever gone through a breakup with a friend? How did you handle it? Comment below!
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